2010.

The year i'm going to graduate.
The year i am forced to grow up...
a little bit anyways.
College starts soon.
My bills will be my own responsibility
and i will have to rely on myself more than others.
What a challenge, huh?
It's always been mommy this, mommy that.
Being on my own is a scary thought.
I have always had people around,
people that love me and take care of me.
And i also have those that I take care of.
I am looking forward to my future, but i will miss my past.
but then again, there is no time like the present.
I will continue to enjoy 2009,
but we all know that 2010 is NOT far away.
Carpe Diem.

Peace;

noun, interjection, verb, peaced, peac⋅ing. n.
freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquillity; serenity.

Peace signs are everywhere we look, they seem to be all the rage nowadays.
They are plastered all over t-shirts, purses, scarves.
People wear them just because they like the way they look.
Kids throw up a peace sign in pictures because they think it's cute.
People forget the significance of the peace sign.
Peace is the single thing that everyone desires, the thing that everyone hopes to see before they die, the feeling every person hopes to feel.
The peace sign symbolizes the worldy goal that we have yet to achieve.
Humans as a whole desire it, but don't strive for it.
We aren't accomplishing anything by walking around with a peace sign around our necks.
Have we come to think of it as an impossible state of mind?
Peace is attainable, available to anyone who has the right mindset.
They say peace is only acquired after you die, R.I.P. right?
I believe if we live in peace, our souls can rest in peace also.

My peeves.

My mom always told me that I talk about the things I hate more than the things I enjoy.

So why not write about the things I hate?

Things are always better in bullet form.

I hate:

• Ignorance.


• Black and brown. They should never be worn together. Ever. Cheetah print is the only exception.


• Middle parts. Hair doesn't grow right down the middle.


• Scrunciis. They weren't okay in the eighties, they sure aren't okay now.


• Morning breath. really?


• the mole on Sarah Jessica Parker's face.


• hospital scrubs. There is always the uncomfortable breeze blowing up your privates.


• monday's and thursdays. monday is tiring, and thursday is too long.


• low budget car commercials. (especially when they are done by people with cheesy accents and/or costume wearing underpaid actors.)
• animals. sorry.

• pencils with no eraser. nobody can not make a mistake when using pencil.

the list is probably endless, i constantly find these that grate my nerves to no end. But hey, i'm not the only one.

Knocked down.

Friends always come around at the times that i least expect it.
And not just any friends, not just acquaintances, not just someone you pass in the hallway and say hello to.
It's always the last person I would expect.
She sat in front of me in art class forever.
And we never talked.
We sat near each other at every lunch.
And we never talked.
We had the same class, for almost a whole year.
And we never talked.
One day we started talking about gym memberships, of all things.
From then on we were workout buddies, zumba buddies, and spent more time with each other than almost anyone else.
I never thought that we would be as close as we are and i thank God for such an amazing friend.
After being friends for just a little while, i am closer to her than i thought i ever could be.
Our friendship came out of absolutely nowhere, and i was even surprised by it.
But now i can't see myself without her right there with me doing something borderline crazy!
No matter what we have fun together and we are stuck with each other forever, it's impossible to undo a friendship as tight as ours.

Summer

Today was one of those day's that brought me back to my childhood.
Back to when everything was black and white.
The only way we kept track of time was through our stomachs.
Today reminded me of the days without worry, without stress.
It reminded me of what I look forward to from october to march.
summer.
The time of year that I look forward to the most.
Blue skies, sparkling waters, bronzed skin, and warm starlit nights.
When I was a child, the happiest times of my life and the most
prominent memories in my mind are of summer.
My family comes together more often
and friends stay for weeks at a time.
Summer is a time of pure bliss for me.
As a child, it was the staple that kept us all together.
It caused us to take family vacations and go on trips with 15 people at a time.
Today was a blessing and a tease.
I cannot wait until the summer.
We could all use an extended vacation.
Ladies and Gentlmen...
82 days and counting.

My life at a red light.

Lately...I have not been too driven to get anything done.
I don't want to wake up in the morning.
I don't want to clean anything.
I don't want to do any work.
Especially school work.
Summer is a bright sparkly star in the distance
and i have been following it all year, with perserverance
and somewhat dedication.
I may have been procrastinating, but I get my work done.
I am thoroughly ready to graduate.
These are supposed to be the best years of my life,
and all I can think about is getting them over and done with.
I need a reminder of what I have been working for,
working towards, and working hard.
Why is inspiration so hard to come by these days?

My loves. My Inspiration. My neices.

Logan Marie.

Miss Thang.

Two going on Sixteen.

My little protoge.

Every time my name leaves her lips it wraps me

around her little sticky finger even tighter.

I would give her the world if she could ask for it.

But all she's got her beautiful blue eyes on are my shoes.

Her precious little feet are swallowed up by size 7's.

I am enamored by her smile,

mildly amused by her expression,

and so in love with her laugh.

and then there's...

Victoria Jayden.

Four going on Twenty.

Her expansive vocabulary astonishes me every time we have a conversation.

And every phrase that she mumbles inbetween bites of cookie makes me smile.

She admires my make-up and is forever asking for lip gloss.

Singing and dancing is her passion and she never passes up a mirror.

The world isn't ready for such a diva.

She insists on tackling her head of curls every morning by herself

and the response to every question is "I can do it, duh, I'm four"

I have learned more from these two beautiful children than

any possible form of public education.

They love without question.

And question without reason.

Why are they asking the older ones so many questions?

It seems to me that they have all the answers.

Live on, after death.

Death is percieved by many as an unfortunate, yet unavoidable part of life.
It is grieved momentarily, and then we do our best to go on and live our day to day lives, trying to forget our losses and mask our pain.
Yet in sicily, the dead are observed, admired, and studied as though they still are alive and breathing.
In the vast catacombs of sicily, there are hundreds of corpses, fully clothed and preserved to the best of the people's ability.
Each person has a little bit to tell, through what they are wearing, how they are standing, or even the time period in which they died.
Honestly, how easy is it to find beauty in a dead body? It's gross.
Yet, when you look past the fact that you're literally staring death in the face, there is so much more to learn from the deceased.
It is said that the dead live on in the crypts of sicily.
As opposed to being buried in the ground and turned back into dust, they are carefully preserved and kept so that we can look on to them, and read them as if they are open books.
These bodies represent the inevitability of death.
People live their entire lives, striving for better careers, more money, bigger houses.
is that what they are remembered for?
If any of these mummies had successful lives, it is unlikely that it shows.
Materialistic things don't last nearly as long as the memories you leave behind you, the love that you pass on to future generations, the wisdom that you pass on to your children.
Like these people, we are living to die. Yet when they died, they managed to live on.
What will happen to you when you die?
Will the life that you lived still have a positive impact on those to come?
Or will the memory of you be buried along with your physical being?
Life is short, and death is inevitable, but your legacy has the ability to last for an eternity.

*this was inspired by the National Geographic i found in my bathroom. Thanks mom, for renewing our subscription. =]

My sidekick.

I guess you could say she's my other half.

The cookie to my milk.

The cherry to my sundae.

The pages to my book.

Whatever way you turn it,

we aren't one without the other.

Life without a best friend would be unbearable for me.

Someone to tell your secrets to.

Someone to laugh at all your imperfections.

Someone to share your entire closet with.

Someone who's shoulder has the ability to absorb so many tears.

And without her, i would just be a book with blank pages.

New Year, Same Me.

Ordinarily, people have their new year's resolutions all picked out by the time Christmas rolls around.

Personally, i am still completely clueless as to what mine is or will be.

As a teenager, i constantly find things that i want to better about myself.

I am rude, loud, and the worst possible procrastinator.

I try not to dwell on these things though.

I am a desourdy and we all find it extremely difficult to find fault with ourselves, yet it is way too easy to find it in each other.

Luckily, I have my dearest family to keep me grounded, and build me up when necessary.

So, I don't need to set ridiculously high standards for myself that will wither away by the time february rolls around.

I have all these lovely people to remind me that without my flaws, i simply wouldn't be me.